Mother’s Day is one holiday for women that can evoke a vast spectrum of emotions. Some women feel grateful and love this beautiful eventful day. Other women may feel sad and uncomfortable for many reasons including the death and loss of their mothers, being a stepmom, the loss of a child, or not being able to have children.
Some women feel alienated, neglected, incomplete, empty and lonely. I myself have suffered from this for many years when Mother’s Day comes around as a result of having had a hysterectomy at the age of 19 and not being able to have children. What added to what I thought was an insult was that my birthday – May 11th – oftentimes landed on that same day.
Many of my patients feel the same way about Mother’s Day and have shared with me how they do not celebrate this day. As a result of them sharing these feelings with me, I began thinking about how I can change my attitude, thoughts and feelings about Mother’s Day and how I could celebrate it in a different light.
There are many reasons why women feel they are not mothers. Some examples include:
- Infertility and their inability to have children
- Financially they may not be able to support children with enough food, clothes, or pay for their education
- Lack of a partner
- Personal choice not to have children
However, women by nature are maternal, for they instinctively are nurturing, compassionate, loving, and willingly and selflessly want to help others.
Women have a tendency to “mother” not only their own children but also:
- Children in general
- Their animals
- Their friends and family
- Their significant others
- Foundations, causes and organizations
- Nephews and nieces
So I learned after many years that all women can be mothers, regardless of whether or not they are able to have their own children.
Whether you were adopted or if your mom is no longer here, many of us have been inspired in our own lives by either our own moms or by a woman you have admired and learned from.
Whether you are a mother to a two-legged or 4-legged being, such as your dog or cat or perhaps another pet, acknowledge and celebrate the mother that is within you.
Remember to be grateful to all those who have mothered you, no matter how old you are. For some, you are and always will be someone’s “little girl.”
Sometimes we all need mothering from time to time. Even as an adult, we love to feel supported and comforted. That wonderful feeling of being cared for by a nurturing woman is something that our bodies and minds need during hard times.
Consider writing, emailing, calling or visiting your mom – or that special woman in your life who supports you in this meaningful way – on this special day to let her know how much you appreciate and love her presence in your life.
Whether your mom or the person who showed you compassion is alive or not, take a few moments to connect with the memories of the times you have spent with her.
Remember to mother and nurture yourself and the maternal side of yourself. Know that you deserve to feel good about yourself. Continue to share your love with others. It is important to embrace, foster and treasure that part of yourself.
Here are some great ways to make Mother’s Day a great celebration:
- A day of peace and solitude
- A day with family and friends to enjoy them and just relax
- Go out into nature
- Go to a nursing home and celebrate with seniors who have no family
- Set aside all your plans and be treated like a “Queen for a Day”
- Go for a massage, pedicure or to a spa to feel special and to be pampered
- Gather together with all of the generations in your family including mothers, sisters, grand and great-grandmothers to celebrate this day
- If you are single, go to your favorite place to eat your favorite foods or shop at your favorite store and buy something you have always wanted
Allow yourself the freedom to enjoy Mother’s Day. It is important to do your best to have a new outlook on how you think about and how you can celebrate this special day. Remember, it is a day about recognizing our myriad roles of being a woman and to recognize that all women are mothers.
This is your day! Make it a wonderful day for you!
- Posted By: DRC Editor
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