25June

Celebrating Graduation—What Truly Is Your Destiny?

Destiny is an interesting word.  It could mean “fate” or a “predetermined course of events.” The question is: What does destiny mean to you?

Many people have the belief that their destiny was handed down from generation to generation. There are no thoughts of any freedom of choice. The challenging question becomes: What do you believe to be true?

Parents can sometimes put so much pressure on their child and push him or her into what they want their child to become in life by buying toys that will mimic the profession they assume the child will have in life.  When a child is born, the child has no predetermined thoughts about professions or wants in life other than dreaming that he or she can do anything they want.  However, much is influenced by parents, grandparents, teachers, and the list goes on and on.

There are many of us who feel pressured into becoming what others want us to be.  The question then is: Will that make you truly happy?  Will that fulfill your passion in life?  These are questions only each of you can answer.

The reality is that one should not be pressured. In the ideal situation, you get to pick out the area of study and profession that you are passionate about and that bring you deep feelings of purpose.

If you choose to attend college, the first two years are just about taking core courses. It is not until your third and fourth year that you will select a major or specialty.  That, in itself, can be quite confusing.

Some people look to what amount of money they could make in a particular profession; but, again, will that really fulfill you?  There are so many unhappy people that made the wrong decisions based on money only and who wished they would have thought their choices through more carefully.

There are many people in my own profession of being a physician who feel this way, where the pressure was put on them to become doctors. Unfortunately, once they took on the financial burden of the tuition and acquired student loans, they were hooked into the profession—and trapped in it.  As a physician, once your loans begin to accrue and the deferments begin as a
result not being able to pay the whole note, the question becomes: How am I ever going to pay this back?  So now you are caught up in a professional web fueled by a financial burden.  This can happen in any profession.  Some people realize that this is not what they wanted and drop out early, while others will go on to finish their education. For those who persist, at the end, many find they are so unhappy. Their family life has taken a hit due to all of the pressures of school and work that they sometimes resort to suicide.

If we could just have the ability to see the future—and know what each profession would lead us into, perhaps we could make a different choice.  Unfortunately, there is no such “genie” we can ask.

You can, however, get an idea of what a profession is like if you go and ask people who are in the profession you are interested in. See if they will allow you to follow them around for a week to see if theirs is the life you would like to pursue. You could ask questions about what their personal and profession life is like.  Believe me, the majority of us would be quite truthful with you and let you know the pros and cons of our own professions, based on our experiences with them.

There is one pivotal question that is a must to ask: Would you do it again now that you know the ins and outs of what is required of you?

There are also summer jobs that you could take on to test the waters to see if this is what you would really like to do. I encourage you to try all facets of life and work, no matter how much pressure you are being put under, especially if a particular profession has been done in your family one generation after another or if you are just trying to impress the world.

On the other hand, there are those of us who were told that we could never go to college or, for that matter, that we would ever amount to anything other than to maybe learn a trade.

Now, not that I believe a trade school is not valuable, it’s just that it takes people who have a creative ability to be able to perform such tasks. Unfortunately, I do not have those abilities, so I didn’t respond well when someone had suggested learning a trade to me.  It’s difficult when one is told by some teachers that they are too dumb to further their education—and that is what happened to me.  I can say with such boldness that they were totally wrong.

I had a dream. I tried my very best to not believe the people who told me I could not do it—and I succeeded.  So I am a firm believer that you can do the same.

The most important thing is that you are happy with your choice…of whatever you want to become.  It is fine for other people to give you ideas, but they are not going to live your life. It is sometimes a great idea to make a list of pros and cons of what makes you happy and what is important for you.  Just remember, you need to find balance between work, play, family and
your own personal needs.

Sometimes, in the real world, we really do not have a choice due to certain restrictions and positions that you and/or your family may be in.  To you, I would recommend that you still try to find the balance of work, family, and play so that you can enjoy life and teach others.

I truly believe there is some truth to fate. I also believe that as you live your life and have your experiences that the prediction of who you are going to be can be changed into who you want to become.

I feel that no matter how old you are, lessons are learned every day. The present moment can change these lessons moment by moment.  We do not have to relive history but we can change it, believe it or not.  We are powerful enough to change our own behavior.

As we live our lives, we can be true examples for our children, so they can eventually teach their children:

the Right to be creative and to be their own thinkers

the Right to be mindful of their thoughts and words to themselves and others

the Right to be loving to themselves and others

the Right to have courage to stand up for themselves and others

the Right to have self-worth and self-esteem

the Right to be a humanitarian

Can you imagine how beautiful the world could really be?  No matter what life you choose, no matter what profession you choose, always remember that you are so unique and that you can contribute to this world in your own way. You can leave your personal legacy so you will always be remembered for who you truly are.

Congratulations on this magnificent day of graduation! It is just the beginning of your wonderful journey.

Thank you for sharing this moment in time and for sharing your life with us,

Dr. Christina

  • Posted By: doctorc
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